Monday, December 17, 2012

It's not like getting paid is important, right?

I started work here in Spain on Oct. 1.
Today is December 17.
And I just got paid for the first time.

I hadn't received a dime for 2 1/2 months' worth of work until today. But this is Spain, after all, and knowing that there has been some pretty serious economic instability plaguing this lovely nation, I expected some delays. But I didn't realize payment would be pushed back as far as it was. There's been speculation that the Extremaduran government was trying to put off paying us until January to keep our salaries off the 2012 books -- with our pay included, the government hasn't complied with its budget.

Only after some other auxiliares mounted pressure on the Extremaduran government via angry, desperate letters and appeals to the press, we got paid. Ah, the power of bad publicity.

Story about our delayed pay in the "Hoy" paper of Extremadura.  Source
Speaking of bad publicity...

Apparently our lack of pay is normal around here, sadly. Read this New York Times story about how working and earning money aren't necessarily mutually inclusive for Spanish employees.

Un saludo,
Teresa

Sunday, December 16, 2012

A Spanish lesson

I came to Spain under the impression that I had a pretty good level of Spanish. I was far beyond basic survival Spanish. I knew enough to have a conversation more complex than the classic "what do you like to do?" and "tell me about your family." I knew more than simply enough to get me in and out of trouble; I could talk about politics, natural disasters and poverty.

Source
I'd grown accustomed to the Costa Rican accent (or lack thereof), Central Americans' more formal way of speaking and their vocabulary. There, car is carro, place is lugar, drive is manejar, juice is jugo and everything is lindo (cute, pretty, adorable, nice).

Then I came to Spain, southern Spain to boot. I've passed through periods here when I've lost all confidence in my Spanish. There have been multiple conversations in which I haven't understood a single word because the accent and colloquial usage of Spanish here is impossible at times. It can be soul-crushing.

Story of my life. Source
Here, car is coche, place is generally sitio, drive is conducir, juice is zumo and everything is bonito

But it's recently started to get better - right on time. Former auxiliares in Extremadura had warned us that it would take until Christmas to start feeling comfortable. Before coming, I didn't believe that.

Now I do.

So, while we're on the subject of Spanish, I'll give you all a quick lesson.

Read this list of words and while doing so, think of the appropriate English translation.

Compromiso
Fatal
Embarazada
Confidencia
Disco
Molestar
Constipado
Caramelos
Preservativo
Club
Actual
Jersey

Your translations are wrong, I would guess, unless you've studied Spanish at a level more advanced than middle- or high school language courses. The words above are "false cognates," meaning they look similar to English words but have different meanings.

Compromiso = commitment
Fatal = this can be "fatal," as in "deadly," but it's more commonly used to describe something terrible or awful

Embarazada = this is a classic Spanish 101 newbie error. Not "embarrassed," but rather "pregnant."
Confidencia = a secret

Disco = nothing to do with flower power or flared pants anymore. Disco is short for discoteca, a nightclub. It is a true cognate with "disc."

Molestar = nope, not referring to sexual abuse. This means "to bother."

Constipado = I learned this one here in Spain, as it's winter at the moment. This means "congested." "Constipated" is extreñido.
Caramelos = this doesn't necessarily mean caramels, although it can. More often, in Spain at least, caramelos are "candies."

Preservativo = in Spain, this is not what enables canned soup to last for centuries. That would be a conservante. This is a condom. My British roommate once said in an oral exam that she doesn't like how many preservativos are put in food. Laughter ensued.

Club = not a regular nightclub, but rather a place to see lady parts.

Actual = I commit this error often. This means "current," while "actual" would be real.
Jersey = You won't find names and numbers on this - it's a "sweater."


That's just a sampling of tricky ones. There are many more.

Here's to learning and improving every day.

Un saludo,
Teresa




An ode to CouchSurfing


Mom and Dad, Grandma and Grandpa, if you’re reading this, you should probably stop now.

Really, you’re not going to like what my roommate and I did last weekend.

I know you’re still reading this post because my warning has piqued your curiosity, but really, I can’t imagine this will make you any more comfortable with the way I travel. 

We found a stranger on the internet.
We asked if he had an open couch or two.
We let him pick us up from the airport on the Spanish island of Mallorca (Majorca in English) at 11 o’clock at night. 
We stayed at his house for two days and let him feed us fajitas and serve us wine.

And it was awesome.
CouchSurfing is awesome. 

Nice and literal. Source
Does what we did sound incredibly, you’re-just-asking-to-get-murdered-with-an-ice-pick crazy? Absolutely. But sometimes when traveling, you have to take risks to reap rewards.

CouchSurfing is a social network that links travelers with hosts willing to let them stay for free, assuming the freeloaders will offer some sort of cultural insight in return. It’s a way for footloose nomads to meet other like-minded souls.

As far as I know, there are no background checks, no official verifications that the person you’re staying with or the person who’s staying at your house didn’t just get off a train after chopping someone up with an axe. But perhaps that’s the allure of it all: meeting someone completely new, with nothing to go off of except for an internet profile that can either be sincere or entirely fabricated. 

This could be your host. Source
As it turns out, Samuel, our host, had a sincere profile, and to our knowledge, he hasn’t murdered anyone with an axe or an ice pick. 

That's Samuel on the left, of course.
He was ridiculously gracious. Ridiculously gracious. As I mentioned, he picked us up from the airport late at night even though he had to work in the morning (he’s a lawyer).

He opened his home to the fullest degree possible, allowing us to hang around by ourselves while he was at work.

He left coffee mugs, coffee and a giant breakfast muffin on the counter on our first morning there.

He drove us around the beautiful Balearic Island of Mallorca and waited patiently as we took way too many nonsensical photos of trees, signs, sunsets and ourselves from more flattering angles. 

I believe this is the town of Valldemosa.

Valldemosa

We stopped at a lookout point to catch this sunset.

Portals Vells cove

Portals Vells cove
He answered a mountain of “how do you say that in Spanish?” questions from us (he spoke impeccable English).

He took us to his workplace on a Saturday so that we could print off our bus tickets because he didn’t have a printer at home.

He took us to the most amazing, traditional Mallorquin (the adjective describing people and things of Mallorca) restaurant that looked exactly like what I would expect from a Spanish grandmother’s home. They (Restaurant Hostal Ca’N Marió) served the best food I’ve had in Europe, no doubt. 

Frito mallorquin, a typical dish made of meat, liver, blood, potatoes, onion, red pepper and tomato. It was fantastic. We also had wonderful stuffed eggplant, but we don't have a photo.
Arroz brut, a rice dish similar to paella but with broth, and green peppers with lemon, which is apparently typical of Mallorca.
Entrance to the restaurant.
Then, he tried to not let us pay for dinner.

That, my friends, is the epitome of CouchSurfing.

We, two young American women, came to stay at his house, and he treated us like platonic, longtime friends. No funny business. No shameless attempts to snag a foreign girlfriend.

I’ve travelled around a decent amount for someone my age. I’ve stayed in lots of great hostels and a fair share of rotten ones.

I’ve been to London, Paris, Rome, Lisbon, Madrid, Sevilla, Florence, Munich and a ton of other amazing, straight-off-a-travel show places.

But one of my best travel experiences thus far in my life was in Mallorca, a charming plot of land off the eastern shore of Spain.  

View Larger Map  

And it was great because we hung out with Spaniards. Speaking Spanish. Doing things that real people who live on the island do. And that’s what I’ve wanted this whole whirlwind year in Spain to be all about. 

So, maybe, somewhere else in the bowels of the interwebz, you’ll find a cautionary tale about a CouchSurfing host wielding an axe. I can’t imagine there’s nothing bad out there about the experience.

But keep in mind that if you don’t go out on a limb, you’ll never reach the fruit.

And “adventure is what happens when you just did something stupid” (Professor Bernie).

And lastly: “Yes, risk-taking is inherently failure-prone. Otherwise it would be called sure-thing-taking.” – Tim McMahon   

Profound, eh?

Here’s to that proverbial limb. 

Un saludo, 
Teresa

Also, as a sidenote, anyone who tells you to avoid Mallorca in winter is a fool.

The harbor in Palma de Mallorca.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012

A whiny open letter to Ryanair


Dear Ryanair,

No, I don’t want you to hawk calling cards throughout the entire flight.
No, I don’t want Giorgio Armani or Calvin Klein perfume.
No, I don’t want an allegedly sexy charity calendar of the Ryanair crew (I peaked at the cover as the cart rolled by, and I wasn’t impressed). 

This is not an image from the calendar, unfortunately (or fortunately) for you. Source
No, I don’t want overpriced cognac, even if I do get one free with the purchase of another.
And no, fellow Ryanair passengers, I don’t want you to clap when we arrive. Our safe landing should be treated as an expectation, not a victory.

Ryanair
Source
I just want to sit in my tiny seat and try to enjoy what’s sure to be an unenjoyable journey.

But no, Ryanair, I will not stop using you, given your ridiculously cheap prices and stripped-down service.

So I guess I’m just a whiny blogger with a problem I refuse to fix.

See you soon,
Teresa

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Weekend in Salamanca

It´s neat when you get to experience a place you’ve taught about in class: In one of my social sciences classes, we’ve spent weeks discussing various aspects of medieval life, from trade to professional guilds to religion. Medieval universities arose out of a desire to provide a higher level of education outside the scope of the church, and one of the most important universities established at the time was the University of Salamanca in Salamanca, Spain. Coincidentally, a few days after that lesson, a friend (Sam, whom I met studying in Costa Rica) and I headed for Salamanca.


View Larger Map
Beautiful medieval street of Old Town.
Salamanca has an awesome history, and it’s reflected in the buildings and streets of Old Town. As an American, from a relatively young state to boot, even Boston’s 17th century roots seem ancient. So there´s something really cool about wandering through the venerable heart of a city like Salamanca, which was around before Christ.


We walked through a hulking cathedral (The “Old Cathedral”) whose construction stretched for more than a century (from the 12th to the 14th) and spanned two distinct architectural styles. We checked out the campus of the oldest and most significant university in Spain, established in the 1200s. We watched the 18th century Baroque main plaza (“Plaza Mayor”) evolve from a quiet daytime crossroads to an evening hotbed for couples, tourists and locals drinking coffee.

Plaza Mayor
Old Cathedral

Old Cathedral

Old Cathedral

View of Old Town from across the Roman bridge.
What we didn’t do, however, was experience the city’s infamous nightlife. Being the country’s premier college town, Salamanca is synonymous with fiesta. On Saturday and Sunday, we had plans to out for a bit, at least, after taking a quick rest in the hotel after a long day of aimless wandering. Needless to say, we never made it out of our beds. Guess I’ll have to make it back to Salamanca someday. What a shame, eh?

Un saludo,
Teresa

Travel details: 

How we got there: We took the Saturday morning Alsa bus from Merida, Extremadura, to Salamanca, with a 9:50 departure and roughly 2 p.m. arrival. One-way ticket was about 19 euros. Round-trips go for about 37 euros. The Salamanca bus station is about a 15-minute walk to Old Town. Travel tip: If there’s a direct bus to your destination, but the departure time isn’t ideal, try taking an earlier bus or train closer to your destination and connect from there. The direct bus to Don Benito, Extremadura, didn’t leave until 3:30 p.m. on Monday, and I didn’t want to hang around that long, so I took the 9:50 a.m. bus to Merida and caught the 3:10 p.m. train to Don Benito. (I had to walk a mile between the Merida bus and train stations and ended up making it just in time, but in the end the stress on my heart and my body was worth getting home earlier).

Where we stayed: Our plans to CouchSurf fell through, so we made last-minute, day-before-arrival reservations at the Don Juan Hotel, whose name was admittedly a turn off, but we were desperate. We paid 52 euros total for two nights and two people. The place was nice, clean and quiet. If you´re looking for a party hostel or a let´s-meet-wanderers-from-all-over-the-world experience, the Don Juan is the absolute wrong place to go. But if you want something cheap, clean and well-located, it’s a great option. It’s in Old Town, about one or two minutes walking from the Plaza Mayor. The woman working (not sure if she was the owner) was great; she called the customer service line of Sam’s phone company because Sam couldn’t remember her access pin, and customer service calls in Spanish are soul-crushing.

What we did: We spent most of our time walking, which is lovely and free. We went inside the Old Cathedral, which is free, but if you’re on a legitimate Spanish vacation, it might be worth paying a tour guide so you learn something. We paid 3.75 euros to get into the Pontifical University building, mainly so that we could go to the top for the views. There’s a “museum” of sorts about the history of the school and a video, but both were virtually impossible to understand without spectacular Spanish. As far as we could see, there was no English. We wanted to check out the inside of the University of Salamanca buildings, but they’re closed on Sunday afternoons (I don’t know about mornings). Keep that in mind if visiting the university is a travel priority.

Pontifical University
Views from the top of Pontifical University

Facade of the University of Salamanca. There's a tiny, tiny frog carved that you're supposed to find for good luck. I couldn't find it without help.
University of Salamanca frog
The frog. Source
Where we ate: The beauty of Salamanca is that it’s ripe with cheap places to eat and drink. We got good-sized coffees (good-sized for Spain, pitifully small for America) for one euro at Tutto Benne, in the Plaza Mayor next to the tourism office. They also have good, big ice cream cones – two euros for two flavors. Tons of restaurants offer menu del dia (daily lunch specials) for 10 euros or less, so if you’re on a budget, don’t pay more than that. We ate at Merlin restaurant near the university, and it was good. Nothing spectacular, but you can’t expect spectacular if you’re paying the equivalent of $13 for three courses (albeit small) and a drink in a touristy town.

Monday, November 26, 2012

North American Language and Culture Assistants: Application advice

As much as I want this blog to be a record of my adventures and misfortunes in Europe, I also want it to be helpful for potential North American Language & Culture Assistants who are drowning in questions about how everything works. To all ye applicants out there: The tales of mindblowing bureaucracy, late payments and the general lack of efficiency on the part of the Spanish government are all true, sadly. But the good news is, despite speculation that the dead-broke Spanish government would cut the auxiliars de conversacion program for next year, they haven't done so.

The application officially opens Jan. 8 (it opened in early November last year). You should start your application right now. Yesterday, actually. In the spirit of the season, I put together a nice list of application tips to help you on your way.

1. Don't expect to be placed in Andalucia, Valencia or Madrid
Because everyone wants to, and your odds just aren't that great. Not to say it can't happen, because it obviously does for hundreds of auxiliars every year, but hundreds of others end up in regions that they haphazardly listed as their third choice because they just knew they wouldn't end up there (I'm pointing to myself). I applied for Valencia first, inspired by photos of sun-soaked beaches and crazy parties. Then, because Andalucia, Valencia and Madrid are all in the same region group, and you can only choose one from each group, I put Cataluña, home to Barcelona, as my second choice. I listed Extremadura third, having never even heard of the place. Guess where I ended up?

Aw, Valencia.     Source
2. Don't expect to have a better or worse experience than your friend/cousin/brother/sorority sister did. 
Because it just doesn't work like that. There's so much variation between regions, schools and students. A friend who spent last year teaching in Madrid said her students were half-human, half jungle animals. I've heard of an auxiliar in a rural region whose students refused to participate because their parents were pig farmers, and they didn't think they needed English to take over the family farm (disclaimer: My dad's a farmer, and there's nothing wrong with wanting to take over the farm. But there is certainly something wrong with not wanting to learn.) I've heard stories of teachers practically bolting out of the room as soon as the auxiliar arrives, forcing the auxiliar to teach the class solo while the teacher has a café con leche in the breakroom. One of my friends is basically a live sound machine that only gets used when an English passage needs to be read. So keep all of that in mind.

This could be you.    Source
3. Don't expect the schools to follow the rules
Because they don't. According to the rules, auxiliars aren't replacement teachers, and we're only supposed to work 12 hours a week. We're assistants ("auxiliar" means assistant), but some schools treat auxiliars as teachers while the real teachers chat outside, presumably about their students' beast-like behavior. You may very well be teaching classes on your own. Fortunately, I've been placed in two schools that use me well but don't abuse me. Although I do teach full lessons by myself, the teachers are in the room with me in case I need them. I actually prefer it that way.

Best image that came up when I googled "clueless teacher."
 4. Start saving your money now
Because you'll need it. You'll likely work for two months or longer before getting paid. As I write this, it's late November, and I haven't received a dime. Apparently the auxiliars who applied through the British Council recently received an email saying they should get paid in December, but the date is thus far undetermined. I don't know what that means for we Americans. Fortunately, I anticipated this, and I have a cushion so that I can travel freely without obsessing over my dwindling funds (although I am still kind of obsessing over my dwindling funds). You'll need at least $3,000 to live and travel for the first two months if you want to do it right and eat more than ramen noodles.

Source

5. Read current and former auxiliars' blogs
Because you'll need their advice. Start here, although some of Liz the Young Adventuress's tangles with pissy Spanish funcionarios (government workers) will make you think twice about joining the mess. This blog outlines late payments and lies from the government. This one details lots of the quirks of Spanish culture from an American's perspective. I just stumbled up on this one today, but it looks like it's packed with useful tips and engaging writing.

6. Follow the application instructions 
Because you'll need them. Without them the application is downright nonsensical. Even with them the process is downright nonsensical but to a lesser degree. If you scroll toward the bottom of this page, you'll find a link to a "how to register online" document and a "program manual." Both of those are invaluable. But you'll likely still be confused.

Source

7. Only submit necessary documents
Because you want to work smarter, not harder. There's a lot of misinformation spread among auxiliars regarding what you do and do not need to send in with the application. Supposedly some things are going to change regarding this year's application. I can't confirm or deny that, but I can tell you that last year we didn't need to submit a background check or doctor's note with our program application (you do need a state or FBI check and a health clearance for your visa application if you get accepted, but WAIT TO GET THOSE!) I sent a background check from the city police and a health form because word on the street was that I needed to, even though the instructions didn't say I did. It turned out that I didn't need them. (Keep in mind I'm American and don't know how it works for auxiliars from other countries.)

8. Send in your application on Jan. 8
Because that's the first day you can do so for 2013/2014. Last year, the app opened Monday, Nov. 7, I believe. I started the application Nov. 8 and submitted it Nov. 11. I was applicant No. 642, meaning 641 people got location assignments before me because placements are first-come, first-serve. Submit the online portion before getting the letter of reference, if need be, because you can send that in later. Also, don't waste a lot of time filling in information about merits and work history because that stuff has no influence on your acceptance/rejection. Your application number is what matters, and you want a low one, so the sooner you apply, the better.
North American Language & Culture Assistants
Source
9. Don't expect to find out where you're placed by the date the government gives you
Because the government doesn't adhere to deadlines. The application closed in March, and I believe we were told we'd get our placements in late April or early May. On May 22, I got an email saying I'd been accepted and placed in Extremadura, but I wasn't told specifically where. I had to accept my ambiguous placement as a prerequisite to getting more information. I accepted May 26 and was given the names and addresses of my schools June 5.

Source
10. You don't need to speak Spanish to teach English, but you should
Because this is Spain. Officially, auxiliars are supposed to have an intermediate level of Spanish, but many don't because our job is to speak English, after all. But being able to speak Spanish helps immensely at school when you're trying to make copies or find the restroom (although the restroom situation was a bit spotty for a while for me.)

11. Lastly, join the Facebook groups
Because it's good to commiserate together. You'll need a forum to curse the system and make a friend or two. This year's group for my region is Auxiliares de Conversacion 2012-2013 Extremadura, and yours will probably be named similarly. It's a valuable resource; I met one of my roommates on there.

So, that's that, applicants. Scared yet? Don't be. This program certainly has its want-to-pull-my-hair-out qualities, but putting up with the bad stuff has been worth it thus far, for me at least. I've had an amazing time teaching, learning and traveling, so realize you'll have to take the bad with the good.

Are you a current or past auxiliar with wisdom to add? Are you a potential applicant with lingering questions? Let me know in the comments section. 

Un saludo,
Teresa

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Thoughts on Lisbon


As a quick disclaimer: I don’t pretend to speak with any authority on Lisbon’s worthiness as a tourist destination. My comments are based entirely on personal experience and my own perceptions of what I saw and did. I mean no offense to Portugal or anyone who loves the country, so let’s not get all "she doesn't know what she's talking about" on me.

I'll talk more about this market in a bit.
The best way I can explain Lisbon is “weird.” Since I got back from Lisbon, multiple Spaniards have told me that most people either love it or hate it, and that it´s necessary to go back a second time to confirm whether my gut was wrong the first time around. We´ll see if I ever make it back. But there are some beautiful spots, shown below. 

View from our hostel.



In early November, we had a “puente,” a government-sanctioned long weekend, and we wanted to get out of Spain for the sake of going to another country, really. My two female roommates and I had planned to rent a car and drive to Porto, Portugal, a northern port city known for its close ties with the Duero River and its wines, and then to Lisbon. Porto would´ve been a roughly six-hour drive, and it's about 3 1/2 hours or so from there to Lisbon. From Lisbon to Don Benito is about four hours. 

Porto looks like it would've been pretty awesome, no?  Source
As I mentioned in my Marbella post, I can´t drive a manual car, and neither can my Wisconsin roommate. When we saw how expensive it would be for our 23-year-old British roommate to drive (200 euros or more), our rental plans fell through. We were being snobbish and didn´t want to take the bus, thus making everything more difficult for ourselves. As it turned out, two of my roommate's friends (an auxiliar from France and another one from Oregon) had plans to travel to Lisbon and three open seats in the car, so Rachel (the Wisconsinite) and I hitched a ride with them.


I wish there would´ve been a Spanish fly on the wall to listen to our strange butchering of languages in the car. The French guy, Alex, speaks French, Portuguese, Spanish and English, in that order. Although Alex´s English is quite good, he´s more comfortable with Spanish. So, our plan was to speak Spanish most of the time so that we were all on a level playing field (by the end of the trip, that plan proved to be a bit idealistic because it's easier to default into English, but…). I'm sure our conversations would've been hilarious for a Spaniard to listen to. A lot of what we Americans said was translated literally from English, and I'm sure the same was true for Alex in French. Most of it probably really didn't make sense, but we understood. The music in the car was an eclectic mix of Spanish, English and French rap, rock and pop. 

Source
Lisbon is a tangle of steep, twisting streets. It's a miracle we made it anywhere by car, really. One street was a one-way. The next was pedestrian-only. Another was so narrow that I sucked in as we squeezed through, as if my girth had any effect on the size of the vehicle (it's like when a bird flies at your windshield and it's instinctual to duck.) Finding parking was a whole other challenge. We drove around for at least a half hour or more, scouring the streets for a spot large enough to accommodate Alex's tiny European car. No luck. Eventually we surrendered and paid 20 euros (about $26) to park. The following day, thankfully, Alex found a street spot and moved the car.


Hence the parking issues...    Source
We got into Lisbon on Friday evening, did a bit of wandering and sought a restaurant with proper Portuguese fare. Portuguese food is seafood, for the most part, and the country is famous for its cod. In the true spirit of the trip, we each ordered the day's special, which was cod with fries, at a local restaurant. When we sat down, the waiter brought us a plate of cooked-but-intact fish – heads and all. We had no idea how to eat them, so we just picked out the meat. We assumed the fish was complimentary because he brought it without us asking. It ended up being something like 4 euros. You live and you learn, I suppose. Never assume appetizers or bread are complimentary in Europe. Never. 


The main dish
Later that night we headed out to the bars in the infamous-but-kind-of-seedy Bairro Alto, a neighborhood packed with hundreds of mostly tiny bars and music venues. We popped in and out of several, searching for cheap drinks and people who weren't speaking English. We didn't have much luck on either front. You see, the problem with Lisbon, to me, is that it's popular with northern Europeans and Brazilians, most of whom speak impeccable English. I guess if you´re looking for a place to travel where you don't need to speak the native tongue, Portugal´s the place to go. Portuguese people speak phenomenal English, and even if they didn't, you wouldn't have to look far for a native speaker or a Brazilian.


The following day, my roommate, our French friend and I set out to discover Lisbon while our Oregon buddy slept off a mild hangover. Someone had recommended that we visit the Feira da Ladra flea market in the Alfama district. To get there, we packed into one of the famous yellow rumbling Number 28 trams, which are reminiscent of the San Francisco street trollies. (I´ve never been to San Francisco, but Lisbon, with its proximity to the water, tourist-packed street cars, Golden Gate-like bridge and impossibly inclined streets, conjures images of SF.) 


The trollies, which have been in use for almost a century, glide through the cramped streets in the same lanes as cars, making for a nerve-wracking ride as drivers weave around them. Before our ride, we were really excited to take a cruise in one of the ubiquitous trams. Then we got on and weren´t so excited anymore. See why below. 

Too. Many. People.
I still can't figure out why anyone recommends the flea market – apparently a lot of people do because a stream of fellow tourists disembarked the tram at the market stop. At the market, I encountered some of the weirdest people and weirdest merchandise I've seen in a while. I kept a firm hand on my belongings and an eye on the shady characters around me. Part of me was thoroughly disgusted and bewildered by some of the things people were selling: unwashed socks, old tennis shoes, stuffed cloth penises, 90s porn videos and presumably non-functional stereo equipment. The other part of me was really sad for the people whose livelihoods depend on someone purchasing that junk. I´m sorry if I sound insensitive, but it's not a part of Lisbon worth showcasing, so I was dumbfounded that it has managed to charm its way into guidebooks. Perhaps it´s appealing if you're drawn to a city's quirky, less romantic side? 

Some of the flea fare.
I thought Lisbon couldn't get worse after that market – and then it did, or at least it didn't get better. As we wandered the streets trying to find the manicured Belém neighborhood, we encountered Lisbon´s rather scruffy side: dilapidated buildings, more shady characters, stuff that looked like it'd be in a Tim Burton movie. Exhibit A below. 


One guy we passed on the sidewalk looked at me so intently that I was sure he was going to sprint off with my purse. 

We did, however, encounter these adorable chess matches. Apparently this happens in real life.
We eventually made it to the Plaza do Comercio along the Tagus River, which was pretty and alive, so it's not to say Lisbon doesn´t have any redeeming qualities. On our way to the Plaza, we passed by a gourmet hamburger restaurant that was about to close for siesta, so we mentally stored the name and decided we´d go back for dinner. We snapped some photos in the plaza, did a quick, free wine tasting (none of the wines were worth noting) and continued our mission to find Belém. 

In the plaza.



We walked forever. And forever. And then some more. We eventually made the French friend ask some Portuguese people how far we were. Apparently we were laughably far. “Look at those idiot tourists,” is what I´m sure they said after we turned around, defeated. We raised the white flag, hopped on a train toward the center of town and went back to our hostel to meet up with Mr. Hungover.


By the time we made it to the hamburger joint for dinner, we were starving for a taste of America. As it turned out, the place belonged to Brazilian immigrants who had an interesting, bun-less take on burgers. Even so, they were great – it was the best meat I´ve tasted since I´ve been in Europe, and the workers were friendly, so no complaints here.

But really, a bunless hamburger isn't a burger at all, right?
On Sunday we wisely took the car to visit the tourist hotspots in Belém on our way out of town. We checked out the “Monument to the Discoveries,” an homage to the many Portuguese world discoverers (Magellan, Vasco de Gama and Columbus are a few, although Columbus’ nationality is in question). We essentially paid a couple of euros to climb to the top of the stone structure for great panoramic views of Lisbon. But I’m not complaining. Apparently there’s an auditorium inside with a projector showing features on the history of Lisbon, but we didn’t notice anything of the sort. There was an exhibition downstairs about diplomacy (or lack thereof) between India and Portugal, but…

Here’s a Wikipedia tidbit so you at least learn something: 

Ostensibly a 52-metre-high (171 ft) slab standing vertically along the bank of the Tagus, the [monument’s] design takes the form of the prow of a caravel (ship used in the early Portuguese exploration). On either side of the slab are ramps that join at the river's edge, with the figure of Henry the Navigator on its edge. On either side of the Infante, along the ramp, are 16 figures (33 in total) representing figures from the Portuguese Age of Discovery. These great people of the era included monarchs, explorers, cartographers, artists, scientists and missionaries. Each idealized figure is designed to show movement towards the front (the unknown sea), projecting a direct or indirect synthesis of their participation in the events after Henry.

We were in a hurry to get home after we left the monument because Oregon had lessons to plan back in Spain. We rushed to the Tower of Belém, did a classic tourist group photo outside and left without really knowing what we had seen.

[The tower] is a UNESCO World Heritage Site (along with the nearby Jerónimos Monastery)[2] because of the significant role it played in the Portuguese maritime discoveries of the era of the Age of Discoveries.[3] The tower was commissioned by King John II to be part of a defense system at the mouth of the Tagus River and a ceremonial gateway to Lisbon.[3]
The tower was built in the early 16th century and is a prominent example of the Portuguese Manueline style,[4] but it also incorporates hints of other architectural styles.[5] The structure was built from lioz limestone and is composed of a bastion and the 30 meter (100 foot),[1] four story tower. It has incorrectly been stated that the tower was built in the middle of the Tagus and now sits near the shore because the river was redirected after the 1755 Lisbon earthquake. In fact, the tower was built on a small island in the Tagus River near the Lisbon shore.[5][6]
Source 

Source
This last part isn’t necessarily worth reading, but because this blog also serves as a sort of personal diary for me to look back on 37 years from now, I must mention the following incident. On our drive home, the four of us were starving. My roommate’s and I’s eyes were peeled for McDonald’s, but we accidentally sped past two before we had time to swerve into the exit lane. As a last resort, we stopped at a Portuguese convenience store/café. I bought a pork sandwich, and Oregon bought a pack of processed, chocolate-filled croissants. It was the worst food experience thus far. The pork was so tough I couldn’t even chew it. The croissants, well, they were just plain bad. An unfortunate farewell to Portugal…

So disappointing. I'm actually crying in this photo...from laughing, but crying nonetheless.
In sum, I’m still not sure how I feel about Portugal at the moment, even after reliving the experience while writing this blog. I’m sure I’ll go back, but right now, I’m not dying to do so.


Un saludo,
Teresa
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